By Wayne Elise

You: Excuse me, I can’t help but notice that you are unsatisfied with your fruitcake-pattern hoodie. I have to say that I’m surprised but happy for you.

Her: “Ha, hah ha.”

You: “I’ll trade you my Lance Armstrong tire repair kit. Or better yet, I got some Grandma cookies here somewhere.”

Her: “Oh, I had too many of those lately.”

You: “Yeah, I can relate. I like that about you. You and I are the same. Who would have known. So I’m thinking of a New Year’s resolution. What’s yours going to be?”

Her: “To finish law school.”

You: “Oh that’s a good one. I can hire you to sue grandma for the bad cookies. Seriously though, that’s cool. I think I would like being a lawyer. I’d feel kinda powerful. Like yeah, give me a speeding ticket, see what happens.”

Her: “Haha, yeah it is good to know law for practical reasons. For instance, my professor says…”

You: “Hey, I like you.
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For a limited time. I want to help direct you. Swallow your ego and write about your mistakes. What happened on your meets/dates/interactions with the opposite sex that went wrong. Post it in the comments section below and I will give you some ‘Wayne’ ideas to try next time.  Let the fun begin.